Written By: Adina Vega
Edited: Genevieve Hammang and Michelle Sosa
HORG, founded in 1994, has collected over 270 species of the occlupanid.
Taxonomy is both a practice and a science focused on classification or categorization. Generally, it involves two key components: creating a foundational scheme of classes (taxonomy) and assigning items to these classes (classification). Originally, taxonomy was defined solely as the classification of organisms based on shared traits. Nowadays, it has a broader meaning, encompassing the classification of various items or concepts, as well as the principles that guide that classification. Consequently, a taxonomy can effectively organize species, documents, videos, or virtually anything else. As the semester wraps up, what better way to finish than with an amusing post about an overlooked satirical taxonomy website?
When was the last time you opened a bag of bread? It’s an odd question, but have you ever considered the small, innocuous plastic “thingamajigs” that keep the bag closed? You’ve probably seen them a million times without thinking twice — they’re often rectangular or square with a hole in the middle and little notches that help them grip the twisted plastic of a bag. Would you be surprised to learn that those little plastic bread clips, or “occlupanids,” are included in a database of synthetic taxonomy dedicated to classifying them? John Daniel, a man with a sense of humor, made it his mission to organize, study, preserve, and educate about these overlooked inanimate objects that receive little attention in our modern world.
Occlupanid specimens are gathered worldwide, carefully classified, and documented before being added to the HORG database.
Realistically, the term “occlupanid” is not an official scientific designation. Daniel, a self-identified “occlupanologist,” established HORG as a humorous critique of classification politics—a parody crafted by a taxonomy enthusiast for fellow aficionados. The site playfully mocks scientific classification systems, pretending that occlupanids are a type of small plastic “organism” or “species” in the Kingdom Plasticae, fabricating fictitious Latin names and depicting their “behaviors” in a manner akin to how scientists would describe actual animals. Daniel completed the collection with genus names and habitats, such as “located near sandwich zones” or “native to grocery stores.” While the clips themselves are genuine items used in food packaging, the term offers a lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek perspective on something ordinary, infused with a quirky, pseudo-scientific twist. Although intended for humor, HORG exemplifies the relevance of taxonomy in information institutions.
The HORG classifies occlupanids based on the shape of their oral groove, among other factors. A sampling of standardized oral groove morphologies to assist enthusiastic occlupanologists in accurately identifying their specimens. It is important to note that some taxonomic families, like the Archignathidae, may feature multiple oral groove shapes. Similar to real taxonomy, occlupanids are classified into different genera (the plural of genus) and then further divided into species, based on: shape (round, rectangular, square, complex), notches and slots (how they grip the bag), shape (mini, medium, extra thicc), notches and slots, size, function or rarity, and sometimes color. Are you laughing yet?
Kingdom: Plasticae
Organisms made of plastic, obviously. This is their top-level classification.
Phylum: Fastenocclusida
Meaning “fastening mouths” — these creatures are “characterized by their oral groove used for clamping onto hosts,” i.e., bag necks.
Class: Occlupanidae
These are the true bread clip lifeforms. The defining trait? Their unique occlusal orifice (a fancy way of saying “the hole in the middle”) and gripping “mandibles” (the little notches).
Occlupanids are “scientifically” classified by the shape of their oral groove.
In 2011, Dr. Bruce Ragsdale, in collaboration with HORG and fellow physicians, published the first internationally acknowledged paper on occlupanids in a peer-reviewed medical journal. This well-researched paper warns of the dangers associated with occlupanophagy and presents a compelling argument for the scientific and medical communities to recognize occlupanid phylogeny.
I hope this blog post made you giggle! Curious to classify something random? How about… socks? Houseplants? Pens? The possibilities are endless! For further details on HORG, occlupanids, and taxonomy, click here and uncover the depths of this fascinating and humorous topic. For even more laughs, check out the History of Occlupanids page here.
HORG’s growing collection of plastic bread clips features an impressive variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. This range forms the basis for an intricate and thorough occlupanid classification system.
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